I have respect for broadsheet journalists because they haven’t succumbed to degrading themselves, to writing pidgin English with all these terrible colloquialisms, the phrasing of which is just, like, embarrassing.

- Peaches Geldof

The previous evening, my wife had presented me with one of her quarterly assessments of my progress as a human being, and the results were, as they so often are, disappointing.

Tim Dowling makes me read his whole column out loud, Saturday after Saturday. I suspect his wife may be the most amazing/terrifying human being known to mankind.